She announced her abortion via fbk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
