just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
