I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
