Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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