Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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