You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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