Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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