Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
