so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
