CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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