if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
