My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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