Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
