Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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