Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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