Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
