You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.