Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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50% drunk capacity currently
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?