You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.