I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high