I'm jealous of your bromance
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight