ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
