Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So here I am, sexting at work.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
