I just made out with a guy for $7.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
