mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
