How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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