about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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