I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
