one might say we're banned from that church
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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