Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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