i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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