Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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