I think I am morally bankrupt
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
