thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
