All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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