Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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