I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize