I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize