She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize