I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
