dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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