so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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