I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
