I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
