If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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