Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
