im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
