bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
