remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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