So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just google imaged poop.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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