And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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