I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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