I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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