You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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