Whod you bang
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
