My first STD was from a foam party
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
