girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
