So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
