I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
