so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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